One of my best friends put it something like this, "Your 20's are for discovering who you are" and "Your 30's are for being comfortable with who you are and enjoying it". I'm finding this to be very true (and yes, I do realize I just turned 30 this year so I have many more "30's" to go). My 20's was all about trying to figure out who I was...a graduate, an employee, wife, mother, ... Recently, I've felt like I've stepped back a little and just Let myself be. I've stopped trying to figure out what everyone else wants me to be and started being who I really am. I'm trying to let my guard down more and not worry about my faults or who sees them (i.e. part of the reason I decided to start blogging more). Nobody is perfect and we will only drive ourselves insane trying to be perfect. It's hard for me to ask for help or admit that I just can't do it, but as I told my friend above...I'm trying. I am a sensitive soul even if I come off like I can just brush things off. I cry often for my children...tears of joy in watching them accomplish something new, tears of love in watching them sleep, tears of fear in thinking about how hard it can be sometimes growing up in this world. I cry for other people's children too...watching any child accomplish something or go through something hard pulls at my heart. I hope to show enough of both my sensitive and my strong side to my children so they learn it is good to be both.
My biggest fear in life is losing one of my children or my husband and I pray to God every.single.day that we get to live a long, healthy, safe life together. I know you can't live life in fear and I won't, but they are my life. I'm my most real self around them...goofy, clumsy, forgetful and happy. I feel like I know now more than ever what matters to me in life and I'm not willing to sacrafice certain things anymore. I'm excited to continue learning and growing and I'm excited to experience the path God has chosen for us.
So here's the question of the day...Have you started to FIND yourself yet??? I hope we all ENJOY the JOURNEY :-)
